I am such a stereotypical Brit. I moan for the 11 months of the year when it's cold enough to freeze a gnat's knackers off, and the second the temperature rises above 1 degree, I am all "Oh Jesus I am actually melting please someone get me an igloo, and make it snappy!" Readers, I have been suffering. Not only have I had to contend with it being 1 million degrees for the past couple of weeks, but I've been moving house (i.e. packing my make-up collection in a nice holdall and leaving the rest for the men to deal with) AND suffering with a particularly vicious onslaught of hayfever, or as I like to call it, Not Yay-fever.
Thus, I have been finding my make-up and skincare routine somewhat shonked, and have been trying to find a way to deal with shiny shiny oily skin, red and runny eyes and nose, hands and nails that a bricklayer would be proud of and make-up that won't slide off as soon as I've tightened the lid on my mascara. I'm going to be completely honest - I haven't worn a scrap of make-up for the last 48 hours, and man, is it good! I have been out and about in real life public, and no small children screamed, no cars crashed, no pigeons flew into shop windows, so I think I will probably continue the week in the same vein. Not completely make-up free, that would just be boring, but I will do what I've been doing for the past fortnight.
I give you Pixie's 'It's Properly Pissing Hot Today So I Will Lay By The Fan Instead Of Grooming' Guide to Summer Beauty:
Awake, gulp down a yummy Not Yay-fever tablet and five gallons of water.
Eye drops, nose spray, more eye drops, more nose spray (I know, the glamour)
Shower - v cool water, some clarifying shampoo (currently loving a Charles Worthington men's one I accidentally bought) to rid my locks of sweat and pollution and pollen, and a v light conditioner (Herbal Essences straightening one).
Cover my face in Neutrogena Deep Clean 2 in 1 face wash and mask whilst still in shower, and leave on whilst dealing with legs, underarms and other key areas.
Rinse everything and leave shower. Immediately start sweating and cursing.
I always splash my face several times with cold water after showering, as it helps tone my skin, reduce my pore size and wake me the hell up. This is even more welcome in the heat.
Apply eye cream and my Protect & Perfect serum.
Sweat and curse some more.
If I think I need it, I apply a dot of Botanics Pore Reducing oil-free moisturiser, which is brilliant. If I don't need it, I go straight to the next step.
Apply a dot of primer all over face - I don't normally need it all over but in this weather I need all the help I can get.
Apply a dot of tinted moisturiser - currently the Botanics one, which is a little on the orange side but I can pull it off now that I have a bit of a tan.
A very light dusting of finishing powder - E.L.F. HD - AMAZE.
A swipe of my HG (yes, it's that bloody good) mascara - Miss Sporty XXLong. A little clear mascara on my brows to tame them.
Plain old Chapstick on my lips.
Comb out hair and pin up or leave down - ALWAYS WET. The mere thought of going anywhere near a hairdryer in this weather makes me want to eat my own eyeballs.
A spritz of perfume - Givenchy's Hot Couture is v lovely in the heat.
Aaaaaaaand SWEAT. All day long, walking, on the Tube, in the office, walking. All. Day. Long.
How are you coping please? I am pining for knitwear and hats with bobbles on and boots and rosy cheeks and lovely thick moisturiser. I think I shall move to the South Pole, and start a Product Penguin blog instead.